One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Randomize
