She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You ruined the universe
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
