she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Randomize
