it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
