I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
