I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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