I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
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