I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
