I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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