life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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