Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
