Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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