were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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