this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize
