i think i have herpe
just one?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
