My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
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