i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
