Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize
