Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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