Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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