Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
