All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
