I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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