Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
