My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
