Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
Randomize
