pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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