we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
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