Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Randomize
