I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Randomize
