I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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