I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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