i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Randomize
