we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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