i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
