..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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