God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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