i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
