I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
