sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I enjoy the company of your penis
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