just come out here and I will go home with you...
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
