I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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