she was so not down for the gang bang
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize
