But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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