I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I love having hate sex.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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