i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
