We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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