Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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