it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
