There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
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