last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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