so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
