He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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