Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
