Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
